My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
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Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
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you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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