Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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