It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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