dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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