I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize