Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
too bad you live with your parents still
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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