I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize