Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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