The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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