Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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