in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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