no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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