I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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