Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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