It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize