I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
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i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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