My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize