Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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