This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize