I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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