i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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