I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize