I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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