So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
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I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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