no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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