I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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