that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize