So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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