on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
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Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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