and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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