I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize