come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
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I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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