Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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