You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i think my cat just said my name.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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