and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
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No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
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They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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