she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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