Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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