i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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