i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize