i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
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so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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