I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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