apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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