There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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