i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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