We're facebook friends in real life
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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