I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He felt like a one man threesome
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You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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