so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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