There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize