it was like his penis was on wheels.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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