If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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